I'm overwhelmed. Is it possible to have too many heavenly moments?

No, I'm sure it's not possible to have too many heavenly moments. It's not like eating to much candy or French fries. I've discovered that as I focus on things that I am thankful for, I find myself enveloped in that warm fuzzy feeling of "Pinch me. Can this really be MY life? It's so amazingly wonderful!!" I don't know if you've seen the movie, "Joe Versus the Volcano", but in the movie, Joe is stranded out in the middle of the ocean for who knows how long. It just so happens that he is floating on his extremely expensive set of waterproof luggage which is fully stocked with everything he needs to barely sustain life. Prior to this predicament, he was a severe hypochondriac who hated his life. On his last visit to a doctor he was given the news that he is dying. One night, while he was floating on his luggage, he looked up and saw the full moon when it was at it's largest, hovering over the horizon. He stood up, stretched his arms up toward the sky and said, "Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life".

Earlier in the movie, Patricia, the girl he meets along the way, casually makes this statement: My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement.

Maybe what I'm experiencing is that feeling of being "awake" enough to realize how BIG my life is. The trigger for the awakening is gratitude. This blog has kept my thoughts on the many things that I have to be thankful for. There are so many that I don't even know where to begin writing about even the things that just happened this week!! Everyone has to live on this planet. It's a given that no one gets out of this life without living a LOT of both good and bad moments. I guess that the "sleeping" people Patricia referred to in the above statement, are the people who spend their lives focusing on the bad things that happen to them, or the bad things around them. I have definitely had my lifetime of BAD moments. I'm so extremely thankful that I have the chance to shut off that focus and experience being "awake". Even the most horrible "life", (situation), has much beauty to be found if beauty is sought after. Think about all of the amazing stories from the World War II prison camps. There were those who focused on the bad around them and they just gave up and died. Then, there were those who rose above their circumstances and found things to be thankful for. They not only lived, but lived to become a light, a beacon of hope to those around them. Those individuals went on to be "awake" for the rest of their lives and some continue even today to be a living beacon of hope, joy, gratitude, and love.

I'm so thankful for my life! As I watch my grown children I marvel at their ability to rise above the negative aspects of life and focus on the positive. As I stated in an earlier post, I was not a "happy mommy" when my children were young. It breaks my heart to remember me then. But my heart swells with overwhelming joy and gratitude as I speak with my now, adult children on the phone, or read their blogs. They speak about how thankful they are for their lives, their experiences and opportunities, their spouses, or their little ones. Their pictures, their remembrances of daily moments, their "focus" is on the good, and their love for their spouses and their tiny children grows tangibly larger every day. How could I not feel like I'm in heaven as I daily witness this?

I will NEVER be able to do that.

Have you ever heard someone say that? Well, I suppose that in certain circumstances that could be true. I will never be able to be a pro football player (mostly because I'm not a guy and I'm sure I'm past the age limit). But have you ever heard someone say, "I will never be able to do that", about something that is actually within their grasp? How about, "I will never be able to be organized", or "I will never be thin", or "I will never be able to get good grades", or "I will never be able to control my spending habits",..... the list goes on and on and on.

I have a "dream job". I never thought I was smart as I grew up. As a matter of fact, I was in my 50's (oops, okay... so now you know....), when I discovered that I'm actually pretty smart. I discovered as I was raising my children that I had ADD as a child (still do), and no matter how I tried, I could not get good grades. When my older brother wanted to get the best of me in a heated sibling rivalry moment, I would call him a typical name (for kids who are fighting), "you're stupid!", he would counter with, "Wanna compare report cards?" He was always an "A" student. What a crusher!! I wanted to get good grades in the worst way but I just didn't know how. After raising our 5 children I learned a lot about how to help them be successful. During those years I had a variety of part time jobs where I typically made minimum wage. I remember how excited I was when I got a job as a classroom teacher's aide working with autistic children, and I was paid $12 and hour. That was amazing to me. I'd never made that much before. One day, I realized that maybe I could do better. As I watched the teacher and supported everything she did in the class with the kids, I thought, "I might be able to do something like that myself." So, I started finishing up my general education prerequisites, one class per semester by going to a junior college one night a week. Math was my biggest dread. I had to take two "dummy classes" before I could take the one I needed in order to transfer to a university. When our "baby" was a junior in high school, I had finally completed all of my General Education requirements and with fear and trepidation I enrolled in a university, quit working, got a student loan, and started going to school full time. I had been getting "A's" at the junior college level, but that was only one class a semester. As I dove in, I discovered that with the techniques I taught my children to succeed with, I was able to continue to get "A's" at the university level. I still marvel that it was even possible... that it happened to ME. Don't get me wrong, it was definitely an intense amount of work and my family thought I had moved to another country, but I did it!! It took 6 years to earn 2 bachelor's degrees, a master's degree, a teaching credential, my state licence, and my national certification. Now I'm a Speech and Language Pathologist. I LOVE what I do. I work with older kids and adults. My biggest "high" is to work with someone who, for many years, has said things like, "I'll NEVER be able to say the /R/ sound right", or "I give up, I'll always have a lisp", or "I've been in the United States for 20 years now and I am told I will never be able to move up in the company because I can't be understood due to my strong accent". The Lord must really love me, or at least He is very aware of me and answers my prayers. I have worked with more people than I can count now, who have overcome these speech challenges quickly, and I get to say, "you don't need me any more". Tapping into your God-given talents, or at least having the privilege of being guided by the Lord to learn beyond what your education gave you, and experience success, sure does feel like what heaven must be like.

I believe in Miracles.

Okay, so most of us who have children have at least one that takes ALL of our constant thoughts, creativity, research, collaboration,... basically they are on our minds all of the time because we just can't think of what to do next to influence them to do what they need to do to become a successful, productive, and contributing adult someday. In other words, they drive us constantly nuts!!! Yes, out of the 5 I had one of them. I tried every parenting tip available at the time. About the only thing that was effective was when this child would do something inappropriate, I would take him upstairs and we would kneel down beside my bed and pray. (When all else fails, rely on a higher power.) We also would use appropriate scriptural references and my "parables" (I'm sure inspired by a higher power), to shed light on the situation. After our children grew up they had interesting ways of referring to my "parables", but I was extremely grateful the Lord gave them to me nonetheless. We would then have lengthy discussions about what types of choices the Savior, Jesus Christ, would like us to make. Our family has a powerful foundation of love and trust for the Savior so, thankfully, that was a wonderful base to work from. To my relief, my son would usually come to the conclusion that the Savior would have a different idea of the appropriate way to handle the situation he had recently been "caught" in. It was wonderful, however, it is absolutely mind boggling how many NEW situations a child can dream up. I'm not talking once a week, I'm talking... DAILY. He really kept me on my toes. When he grew up he said a couple of amazing things;

1. When asked why he did the things he did as a child and a youth, and why restriction was always a better decision for him than to just do his chores, or homework, or get along with his siblings, he said, "I thought I was 'winning' if I didn't do what you asked." (Strange logic... but there you have it).

2. "Mom, I hope I don't get a child like me."

Now he is grown and has a beautiful family of his own. I said, "sweetheart, I wouldn't wish that on ANYONE, EVER!

Now, I like to just sit and watch him with his wife and children. It's like watching a "feel good" movie. There is so much love and joy in their home. He was blessed with two adorable, sweet little girls and the perfect wife. He was never a typical "sit still and learn in school" type of person which of course caused me much concern. However, he has NEVER been without a job. He has so much natural talent, and ability to learn and lead that he has been a blessing to every employer that has ever hired him. He just had the opportunity this summer to move to Utah with his family into a beautiful home. He just announced yesterday, that he got a new job making more than he was making before the move, with lots of room for the business to grow and for him to move up in it! Helping a business to grow and improve is his specialty. So... you think miracles don't happen? Well, here is a story of many miracles. He is not only a delightful person to be around, he is constantly amazing me with the way he is able to take life a day at a time and turn it into something wonderful. This is what heaven must be like.

A funeral can be a perfect place to find heaven !!

Our earth life as an extension of our lives before we came to earth when we were all children of our maker and learned of the plan to come to "earth school" to learn the things we need to know and do in order to progress and become all that we can be someday. Earth life is a blip of our eternity. Our next life when we leave this earthly existence,(hopefully to spend eternity with our maker and our loved ones), is a continuation of our eternal existence. If we think of it this way then, like our birth, our funeral should likewise be a CELEBRATION, only this time, a graduation.

I was at a funeral today that lasted for 2 1/2 hours. It was for a wonderful woman who lived a full life and passed at age 94. There was laughter throughout as stories and antidotes were shared during the eulogy, and by many of the family members and close friends. Not all funerals will have humor but they certainly can be filled with memories of a person's value, contributions, and impact on others. As we say, "We love you and we will see you again soon", it is more like launching them off on an extended cruise to see beautiful new places and experience amazing new things as they await our arrival when it is our turn to return "home". If we focus on the tremendous happiness our dearly departed feel, not only being free of their earthly pains and concerns, but also the joyous reunions with those who gone on before, who love them, and have been waiting for them to get finished with their earthly experience down here, it is easier to be happy for them and to look forward to seeing them again someday soon. As I felt the love and joy of the friends and family reuniting their love with one another and saying goodbye to a tremendous lady today I thought, "this must be what heaven is like."

If I had a time machine and could reach back in time...

As we raised our 5 amazing children life kicked all of us around, just like it does everyone else, and the road was extremely bumpy at times. I regret the times when the noise and the intense needs, misunderstandings, insane schedules, and mishaps got to me and I was not a "happy mommy". The family pictures bear this out. I was EXHAUSTED, and very overwhelmed and frustrated. Now I can look back in my mind's eye and see each one of my precious children through all of their stages and I yearn to be able to reach back in time. The first thing I would do if I had a time machine, is hug myself and leave a strong knowledge that this time will pass faster than the blink of an eye. I would tell myself to enjoy every bit of each moment I had with my children because they would soon all be grown and gone. I would tell myself that for every word of criticism, "suggestions" about how they might have done something better, I needed to remember to first slather them with love and at least 5 praiseworthy and loving comments. As they grew older I finally caught on to that. It's miraculous how many things your kids will do for you, or will respond positively to if their "love buckets" are filled to the brim. When they know you love, admire and respect them, in spite of their weaknesses, you have some "magical clout" when you really need it. Of course you have to choose your battles carefully. Be sure that whatever you feel you need to fix is REALLY important... not just "how many times do I have to tell you to put the lid on the peanut butter jar and put it away?!!"... kind of thing. Well, as my children got older (age 10 through teens), I began to feel more heaven as I started using more praise and less criticism.

Who would have guessed...my kids all turned out smarter than me!

I got a call from one of my kids today. He and his wife have been following Dave Ramsey. He has a 13 week course called the "Financial Peace University". They are following it and have become an inspiration to our whole family. They are so smart to start using wise financial counsel while they are still just beginning their lives together. My husband and I certainly didn't "get it" when we were a young couple. As we visited they asked if I had seen their blogs. I confessed that I didn't know how to find them. My son then proceeded to walk me through the steps of creating a blog just so I could use it as a place where I could find their blogs. As he guided me, and his wife shared their enthusiasm for their new "project", I couldn't help but have this overwhelming feeling of gratitude for who they are and that they are part of my life. It's amazing how time flies by so fast. It seems only yesterday this boy, my youngest child, was an adorable toddler amazing us with his budding leadership abilities, unique sense of humor, and mesmerizing personality. Now, I sit back and marvel at the fact that he and his wife are such good examples to us all. I find my gratitude overflowing for the person he has turned into and the wonderful woman he chose to spend forever with. She is now "my" daughter and I count her as a special gift. When I recognize these things, I feel like I'm in heaven.

Where is Heaven?

I have had this song going through my head over and over. I thought it was a Primary children's song that I heard in church but it's not in the songbook. Isn't it funny how that happens? Well, it inspired me to use this title for my blog. My kids actually inspired me to start a blog.

Have you ever had moments in your life where you felt a wash of happiness flow over you and you just want to either cry happy tears or just sit there and revel in the moment? Whenever that happens to me I wish I could capture it so I could relive the moment over and over again. These are the moments when something wonderful happens and you feel overwhelmed with gratitude. It could be something big, or just a very small moment that helps you remember the "big picture". There's a sense of awe that feels surreal, not of this world. When this happens to me I think, "This must be what Heaven is like."